“I think about my mom everyday”

Months ago, my husband walked into our bedroom and found me on the floor crying. I was reading letters my mom wrote me decades ago. And even though she’s been gone now for 11 years, somehow her words were still relevant and comforting as I consumed letter after letter.

It was right before I was about to embark on a new journey I wasn’t so sure I should be taking. I would have given ANYTHING to call up my mom and ask for advice. Since that wasn’t an option…I turned to my “mom box” full of old cards and letters she wrote me through the years. And this is a sample of what she wrote:

“Go, be yourself, never change and keep God beside you.”

“Drink in the beauty of the ocean – land – sky – family and friends – all who you have given much to and love being with you.”

“Follow your dreams, don’t get negative on what you have been doing and down on yourself. You shouldn’t feel inadequate but I know it all goes with the career you are into. Just fly and see where you land.”

“It’s hard being everything to everyone but with moms and daughters, you are together 24 hours a day no matter where each is.”

“My daughters are the bouquet of my life.”

“Thanks for being so proud of me in my late in life endeavors. I sure am proud of you.”

As I sobbed into my husband’s arms, he quickly realized what all the fuss was about. “Oh you’re thinking about your mom today.” My response. “I think about my mom everyday”. pushing out words through that stubborn old lump of sadness in my throat. I may not cry every day…but not a day goes by that I don’t think about my mom.

After losing a parent, you join an exclusive club that you never really want to be a part of. You feel that tug on your heart on the worst days, best days, holidays, anniversaries, birthdays and every day in between.

It’s not always flowers and chocolates and homemade cards and birthstone necklaces (although these are always nice). Sometimes it’s ugly crying on your closet floor over someone who made you feel so spectacularly special and loved for 29 years of your life that you are left with an imprint so deep on your heart that it lasts a lifetime.

And that’s what my mother’s love feels like❤️ by @lucyriles

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